A Lot of Garb

Hello again. I have a bit of information to share with you today, so just bear with me. It's Friday, such a beautiful Friday, it is. Fall weather is slowly moving in, and I want to spend every waking second outside. My week has been eventful, like every other week.

I went to a total body conditioning class twice this week and a reps and sets once. Well having been a runner most of my life and coming from good genes, I keep my leg muscle pretty well. Almost too well- like I'm close to looking like an American Gladiator minus the manly haircut. Haha, Jk. At any rate, my calf muscles are insanely tight (not in a cocky way, rather painful)...I've had RLS (restless leg syndrome) all week. It hurts to walk, sleep, sit in a chair, etc. Having the nursing frame of mind, I begin to think I probably have compartment syndrome, resulting from lack of arterial perfusion, ischemia (tissue that is dying from lack of O2), and muscle tightness. This can kill you, indeed. Most think 'what a hypochondriac'. My theory on this is not that I'm a hypochondriac, rather I'm just an inquisitive nursing student. I know more about more diseases and how they develop as opposed to the Average Jane. I don't really think I have compartment syndrome, but I do in fact feel that at any minute, my calves will spontaneously combust. Is that a little out of line?!

This semester I do not have to wear my scrubs, partly because it stresses out the psych patients, and my other clinicals are around the community. I do wear my lab coat, however. Quite the professional, I look. If you've ever worn a white lab coat with name tags and university emblems, you may have the same problem I do- everyone automatically assumes I know directions. Walking through the hospital or getting stopped at crosswalks, people ask everything! Sometimes I try to give directions, which anyone who knows me knows not trust my directional skills. I think I'm going to either start speaking Spanish or say I work in the primate lab as a researcher, so I don't get out much.

If I had a GPS (They didn't really make those in 1999, the yr of Honda I sport), I would program it to always say, "Megan, don't forget to get your keys out of the ignition." As you should know from previous blogs, I seem to lock my keys in my car & get a flat tire once a month. It will be a good day when I get on the interstate & don't have to think, "Oh no, is my tire going flat?" I have this fear for 2 reasons- I'm prone to flat tires, & the interstate sucks. You constantly hear 'thump, bump, lump, hump'. Twice this week while driving on the interstate with my windows down, something has flown in my window & hit me in the face!!!!! What? Does that really happen?! Yes.

Breaking up is full of many steps and milestones. When you break up, it's not really finished. Emotions go array, and you need answers, want closure. Is it for better or worse? Should we live by the lyrics from the Tonic song, "You gotta take a little dirt to keep what you love"?? Are you making a mistake? Is he making a mistake? Will he ever grow up? Will you ever stop resenting him and forget about the past? When you continue to talk after a break up, you're just creating more baggage. I may be young, but I have been screwed over a time or two. Who am I kidding? Almost every time! Jk. From my family/friend experiences, it seems to be the someone is always getting hurt. I wish we could go back to my grandparent's day, and be married for 50+ yrs in complete, true love. As you can probably tell, I am very opinionated and want to get my point across into that thick skull. Argument=immaturity in my life, it seems to be. I would never make up something to hurt someone in the heat of the moment. Why would you feel the need to hurt the person even more by lying and making things worse. Don't say "It's over. I've already found someone else. I'm done with you" IF don't MEAN it. Why? Because minutes/hours/a day later, they're calling back with "I can't live without you. I'll never do it again. I promise". Well, I'm hear to say: NEVER MAKE PROMISES. I owe it to my mom for letting me realize promises are rarely kept. (I made a positive from a negative!!) When will couples (guys/girls) reach the maturity level to where they don't say hateful things just to spite you? GROW UP!!! I've heard it all before, and quite frankly, I'm done.

It's an invigorating feeling to be single again. The WORLD is at my hands. As much as breakups hurt and keep you down in the dumps, I will prevail. If it's meant to be, it will. I cannot decide my fate at this age. I can't even come to the conclusion of what type of bread to buy, much less, pick out my husband. Ha. My dad should have just arranged me a marriage. Yeah right. I think as a young adult you become overwhelmed to the fact of growing up, paying mortgage, investing, dating, etc. I mean graduation is near, and marriage is supposed to be next. Is that true in 2008, though? I want to travel with my career, which I could not do with a boyfriend from my hometown questioning/accusing me every day & night.

Tough love, huh?