Foot in mouth x 3

Several years back, I was living with my aunt & uncle. I believe it was around my birthday, so we were having the family over. I called my younger cousin to talk to her about that night. To my surprise, someone answered trying to play a joke on me. Her voice was distorted and sounded pretty comical. I begin laughing, "Saying who is this? Stop playing a joke on me, Tess!" She then says, "I'm not. You have the wrong number." Thanks to handy dandy screens on the phone, I look at the number I dialed, which indeed was Tess's. I said "Oh okay, sure, I'm sorry" in a jokingly manner thinking to myself, they're not getting me this time. So, I took matters into my own hands and kept calling until I reached Tess. There was no telling who was over there trying to pull my leg. Finally, the person on the other end says, "This is Margaret". Trying to be coy, I say "Why, Margaret, you sure have a manly voice." CLICK is the response I received. I was in the room with my aunt, and she says, "Megan, Margaret is Tess's neighbor. Yes, I recall Margaret- she smokes about 6 packs a day...and oh noooooooooo! It was the neighbor!!! Tess calls later saying, "Hey, our phone lines have been switched. We've been getting the neighbor's calls." Foot in mouth, yes, that was me making fun of a lady who probably is emphysematic!! I avoided Tess's house for a few months after that encounter!!!!

I transferred schools last year, so I'm a little closer to home. I was near the beach and as far as I could get away from my family. I was in heaven, at least for two years. Suddenly, I realized I miss home, the mountains, the lake, my family! A few months ago my car was getting fixed (you remember my luck with automobiles), so another cousin of mine let me borrow hers. Murphy's Law struck once again; she left her books in her car. We made an arrangement where we could meet each other half way. Like the illogical person I am, I never put her spare key on my key chain, even though I would be driving her car for a few days. Knowing my luck with losing stuff, I should have thought more. I was walking to the parking deck telling her I was about to be to the car and on my way. I unlocked the doors, threw my books in, got in, and proceeded to turn on the car...but OH NO- Where is the key!? In a mini frantic, I hop out of the car seeing if I left the key in the door or if it had fallen underneath the car. Five minutes pass, and I notice some university workers talking near my car. My first irrational thought is, "What if they think I'm stealing this car because I've been standing here for 8 minutes walking all around, throwing things back and forth?" I even checked the trunk, even though I never opened it!! HAHAH! I call my cousin and say, "Oh I'll be there in a few, traffic is bad!" I couldn't tell her I lost her key!!! Twenty minutes later, the two men come over to help me. Ten more minutes pass. They search the car like a policeman with a warrant helping me find this stupid key. A friend comes over, asking if maybe I could have dropped it. I look down and see something shiny in my pants cuff- THE KEY!!!!! I had rolled my jeans up like the 50's Greaser style, and low and behold, that damn key fell in there!!! How much of a peon do I feel like, saying, "Thank you gentlemen for your help. It appears I have dropped my key in my pants cuff. Sorry to have taken 30 worthless minutes from your lives." With the little bit of pride that I have left, I shake their hands. One of the men reaches into his pockets, pulls out a business card, hands it to me. He was the director of transportation, and told me to call if I ever needed help again! Oh me.

Spelling is very important to me, so if you see any errors, it's because my mind is racing so fast. It's like an ocean. I have one idea building up more and more, and then near the end, here comes another wave of information trying to be bigger and better than the one before!